my first blog post
7/15/26
6pm ish
hello all and welcome to my first blog post. i unfortunately missed the exact moment that my neocities site hit 1000 views. but my neocities has
1000 views now! like thats so freaky. like. at least. 200. or so. of those. are individual people. right. like. at least 200 people have seen
my fuckass website. idk thats crazy. idk im just like really enjoying my time doing this whole website thing and everyone has been very kind! like
im just really flattered. like. thanks guys. but ya anyways. welcome to my blog!
anyways ummmmm idk i dont really have much to say about my #reallife. like. i have a diary. but idk like my summer has been awesome i just like
am kind of. experiencing some new emotions b/c like. im at a pretty serious turning point in my life and AGING IS SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF ME. like.
idk lately ive just been like. driving and ill look at a 30yo person and im like. one day. ill be like you. and i start shuddering. idk like. i feel like
i need more time in the oven. and im struggling to really understand like. what. society. expects of someone in my position. like. i feel like up until now
my identity has mostly been about age-group related. things. if that makes sense. like. when youre a kid. you may be weird or sporty or something. but
at the end of the day. youre just some kid. but like once youre a young adult fr. you have to like. develop your own personal identity. and im scurreddddd.
like im not ready for thattt. also like. we. as a. society. put so much emphasis on like. being a teenager or like being young
and tbh like. highschool was an all time low for me. so i kind of feel like i like. missed out on a key part of my life. like. IN REALITY. i know no one enjoyed
that. but like. i cant really wrangle my unconcious mind into believing that. and now that im. in college. its like. idk i feel like my clock for Becoming A Person
is REAAALLY ticking.
also. back on that like "wrangle my unconcious mind". thing. when my prefrontal cortex develops it is OVER FOR YOU BITCHES like. i actually HATE when im trying
to like. be logical. conciously. and im internally monolouging like. that is a bad mindset to have. you should think this instead. youre making yourself miserable.
and i cant like. stop feeling the same way. it actually pmo. but also it freaks me tf outtt because its like. i. as in. the little guy in my head who comes up
with words. like. the little guy in my head is more of a sports announcer than anything like. this guy doesnt have a lot of impact on the plays. so like. idk
i guess the whole. rational thinking thing is something abt growing up thatll be good. like. im afraid of osteoperosis but thatll be nice.