welcome to my blog!

my beautiufl baka life

8/24/2026 (and a little bit on 9/7)

2:20 pm (and like 3pm. the other time.)

hello world we are so fucking back.i havent been working on my neocities for like a week because i lowkey just moved into college and im like. so busy. like im having a really interesting time. i didnt realise life could be so beautiful. but also its kind of freaking me out because ive never like. had the option to just lock myself in my room and like. be on my lonesome for a long time. like. its just weird. like. i socialize and then when im done. im like. a 10 second walk away from people. i wish i could live in such a like. communal. situation. for all my life like its really nice. even with like. just people around my building who i dont hang out with. its nice to like make small talk. like im done being a misanthrope! this is fun!
but also like i havent started actually doing school yet. yall. i am so bad at like caring about school its crazy but b/c like. school is expensive now i like NEED TO LOCK IN. and idk if i have that capability. or if im like. going to go crazy. so thats been something
. back to the social thing. i enjoy it for the most part but i feel like i, more than most ppl, feel like this crazy pressure to win the be normal challenge and like be widely. socially accepted. even if i dont like people. like idk i sometimes feel like being around these people im like hiding. my #real personality. and like. my real interests. like. idek i havent talked about persona 5 in so long. not that i talk about it often but like its nice to have the option. or like anything like that. like. i feel like growing up to me also seems like sanitizing your personality and like. obvi i dont think thats like. something you NEED to do. but to like win the social game. i kind of have been doing that. so. yeah. im excited to actually be close w/ people because it'd make this 10x more fun. but yeah. thats why i havent been updating but im gonna work a little on like. #my game's plot. and stuff.
but yeah life has actually been like rlly good for me like im WINNING and i wish i had more time to like nerd out or whatever but also like WE USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THESEEE like every day i wake up and its all sunshine and rainbows. only downside is my net worth. is um. its definitely tanking a little bit like. im making some less than neccessary purchases which is fineee but like. spending money stresses me out. so who knows. maybe ill open up commisions one day. on here and like. my tumblr or something. idk i lowkey should lock in on like updating my website for that to be viable tho bc like what am i doing bro. im gonna go write the script for htat game now bye.

my first blog post

7/15/26

6pm ish

hello all and welcome to my first blog post. i unfortunately missed the exact moment that my neocities site hit 1000 views. but my neocities has 1000 views now! like thats so freaky. like. at least. 200. or so. of those. are individual people and not bots. right. like. at least 200 people have seen my fuckass website. idk thats crazy. idk im just like really enjoying my time doing this whole website thing and everyone has been very kind! like im just really flattered. like. thanks guys. but ya anyways. welcome to my blog!
anyways ummmmm idk i dont really have much to say about my #reallife. like. i have a diary. but idk like my summer has been awesome i just like am kind of. experiencing some new emotions b/c like. im at a pretty serious turning point in my life and AGING IS SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF ME. like. idk lately ive just been like. driving and ill look at a 30yo person and im like. one day. ill be like you. and i start shuddering. idk like. i feel like i need more time in the oven. and im struggling to really understand like. what. society. expects of someone in my position. like. i feel like up until now my identity has mostly been about age-group related. things. if that makes sense. like. when youre a kid. you may be weird or sporty or something. but at the end of the day. youre just some kid. but like once youre a young adult fr. you have to like. develop your own personal identity. and im scurreddddd. like im not ready for thattt. also like. we. as a. society. put so much emphasis on like. being a teenager or like being young and tbh like. highschool was an all time low for me. so i kind of feel like i like. missed out on a key part of my life. like. IN REALITY. i know no one enjoyed that. but like. i cant really wrangle my unconcious mind into believing that. and now that im. in college. its like. idk i feel like my clock for Becoming A Person is REAAALLY ticking.
also. back on that like "wrangle my unconcious mind". thing. when my prefrontal cortex develops it is OVER FOR YOU BITCHES like. i actually HATE when im trying to like. be logical. conciously. and im internally monolouging like. that is a bad mindset to have. you should think this instead. youre making yourself miserable. and i cant like. stop feeling the same way. it actually pmo. but also it freaks me tf outtt because its like. i. as in. the little guy in my head who comes up with words. like. the little guy in my head is more of a sports announcer than anything like. this guy doesnt have a lot of impact on the plays. so like. idk i guess the whole. rational thinking thing is something abt growing up thatll be good. like. im afraid of osteoperosis but thatll be nice.

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also i hope you all like the images i selected to autoscroll on the right. really important photos from my life.

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